5 Years In Heaven

5 years in Heaven

This picture was taken not to long after my great grandmother took on guardianship of my middle sister, Julie and I. To me, this picture captures all the moment’s I loved being the baby. Granny was a very passionate person. Even her anger was passionate. Although she was in her late 70’s when I started to really piss her off, she always stood her ground. Everyone was scared of Granny, my friends, my neighbors, and although many parents were strict, Granny always took the cake. Ginny and Rick, my neighbors growing up, told me that one of their favorite granny story’s was when they saw her chasing after me around the house screaming something while I ran so fast the other direction. This is the family that I later moved in with when Granny kicked me out of her house after being caught at school for underage drinking. Her intensity was really real, especially her intense moment’s of love. I like this picture of us because it captures how I would cherish every moment of being the baby. I think I continued to sit on her lap through high school, because I just loved the moment’s she wanted to cuddle like pictured here. Five years’ ago she passed, and I continue to struggle with the regret of not thanking her enough for what she did for us. When she started to become older I was away at college and my priority at that time wasn’t her. This is painful for me to say out loud because although I understand I couldn’t do a lot at that time, I wish things could of ended a little differently. She gave up so many of her “golden years”, her retirement years to care for us. A few years before she passed, when I was a freshman at college living about four hours away from her, we stayed in contact mostly through letters in the mail. Looking back and recognizing that we both shared the love for writing, it warms my heart on how fitting that was. Thinking of her today, and if she were alive today, I would write her a letter. And this is what I would say:

Dear Granny,

I wanted you to know that I am still writing! When I cant seem to think of anything to write about my inspiration most often comes from you. I find you in my head, in my soul, and in my heart. Thinking about the memory of you gives me so much inspiration, and I am reminded of stories’ to write about! Remember all those afternoons spent at the library? Remember all those afternoons I spent writing my book series about Blaze, Misty, and our gold fish? I wish I could go over my writing’s with you today. I think you would enjoy it. My fiancé and I moved to California in January and there is an orange tree in our back yard. Every time I peel open a fresh orange I think of you. Remember how many warm Florida day’s I sat on your lap outside asking you to, “feed me like a birdie”, as you dropped orange slices in your mouth? I hope you are doing well, and I hope you are eating lots of chocolate heath bar crunch as you celebrate five years in heaven!

I miss you!

 

 

 

 

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I Can Relate!

Tree

“To practice your karma yoga is to practice what you were put on this planet to do. My Karma yoga is the practice of writing; just like Bikram. I’m pretty sure I’m going to end up hurting people while I practice” -Benjamin Lorr, author of Hell-Bent

What do you want to be known for?

The excitement of having a new store is not over but its time for me to buckle down and start to concentrate on taking control of the way my store is operating. The problem that I am facing is mastering the plan and the execution while staying positive with my staff all at the same time. I know what needs to be done and I am positive that I know what it is that I want to be known for and I am determined to set a new tone, and a new plan. Other than work, I have to stay focused on my own personal growth as well and plan my personal life’s development and dreams just like my career dreams. After self relection of my first month in Manhattan, and a visit from one of best mentors I am dedicated and motivated again to reach for my shinning stars. I want to write more, I want to live a healthy lifestyle, and I want to be known for building a strong community’s at work, and strong networks in my personal life. I wont stop until I get reach my next dream.

“It is in our idleness, in our dreams, that the submerged truth sometimes comes to the top, “Virginia Woolf, an English writer who began her dream to become a writer as a young girl as she spent numerous hours in her dads library. I really relate to this because I also spent my childhood in library’s. My grandmother also shared a passion for writing and reading so she not only needed free entertainment for us but she needed free entertainment for herself. I thought with moving to the city I would find more inspiration, and more time to write but just like it was in Florida if I had no plan for writing, then I produce no writing.

More tomorrow my friends!
G, night:)