5 Way’s You Are Being Negative (and might not know it)

5 negative habits


Getting stuck in the past 

The past is that era in time that is now just a memory. I find that it is important to remember that the past is the past and to not worry about it too much. Sometimes I start to analyze things that I have done in the past, or events that have happened in the past and it can really start to get me down. It is helpful to be aware of what you have experienced, and recognize what you have achieved but don’t let the past get you down. Since I am writing a memoir of my life it puts my mind into the past when writing about one event to the next. If it is an unhappy memory, it can suck up my positive energy and make me stuck in that story way to long. Focus more on future story and where you are going. Just use the past as a reference on how far you have already come to reaching your goals and what you have overcome. Do not look back too much; you are not going that way.


I think after reading this you can see that this is kind of a no-brainer. Anytime you find yourself indulging a little too deeply during a meal or at the bar you usually find discomfort later. Yet, we all do it a little too often. When I remind myself how negative these actions are it helps me pick healthier options for my body. I have also observed after my first couple of weeks in my new city, and living my new routines, that when I start a day with NO hangover and a healthy balanced eating, I am a lot more productive/positive throughout the day. Easy right? Duh.

Spending too much time on social media

 Yes, even I, the social media crazed girl, have realized that when I spend too much time clicking around observing and re-sharing it can have negative effects on me. I think my latest upset was poking around on an old friend from high school’s page and than getting upset that we weren’t friends anymore. I have tried to amend our differences a couple of times but failed and we are basically strangers outside our newsfeeds. Clicking around her pictures a little too long could be considered stalking and it is NEGATIVE. Sure, judge me, but I am pretty sure we all do it in some way or another at times.

Not giving yourself enough credit

It is so common to make a to-do list and a list of goals for you but try making a “have-completed list”, and “goal attempting” lists. What I have learned is that this helps keep the first lists positive is by acknowledging the “baby steps” and keeping top of mind what you have accomplished to keep you motivated. I started this habit first in a “Request Column” I kept in the back of my diary when I was young. I would make “requests” that were basically just goals, and I would circle back and to fill what happened regardless if it was the “completion” of the original request. It keeps you in that positive mindset by reminding you to celebrate every win-no matter the size.

Doing to much

 Coming from someone who loved living in the rat race of New York City so much she named her blog after it; I have realized that sometimes having too many things to do is negative. I like to consider myself a “go-getter”, and a “goal –crusher “and prided myself on my ability to “do more”. Then, the stress started to build up in my mind and in my physical body as I juggled the pressure of “doing it all”. I started to struggle with anxiety, had crazy neck pain that was not going away, and started drinking too much. Everything that I was doing was actually having a negative effect on me as I did it all. Restorative yoga, naps, and small baby step goals are usually a lot more positive when you are creating balance on your weekly calendar.


Selfie post

How Her Selfie Broke Our Trust

There has been plenty of talk about how social media comes in the middle of relationships and how it can directly affect your self-esteem and the way you view yourself and your life. I have related to how people could get down while comparing themselves to others as they scroll through newsfeeds filled with promotions, engagements, and great hair; but only recently was I the victim of heartache caused by social media. I have felt sorry for myself on the weekends while stuck at my retail management job as friends and/or acquaintances post on instagram, twitter, and Facebook pictures and comments of their boat cruises, boozy brunches, and late night weekend outings – and it has for sure made angry and jealous. I have also been guilty of not understanding the big deal of it all when hearing how pictures have come between relationships and have even rolled my eyes over girlfriends being upset over what or whom their boyfriends were “liking” on Facebook. I would be lying if I said I had not also been a bit jealous in the past when my boyfriend’s liked a hot model and it showed up on my newsfeed, but only recently had a favorite social media “selfie” broken our trust completely.

One thing to make clear about this story is that had I not been lurking around his computer I would never be dealing with the aftermath of what I came across. I do not suggest you follow my footsteps and snoop through your boyfriend’s personal things but I am sharing with you my findings in hopes to make girls aware of where your selfie might end up when you post them on the internet. Clicking around in my now ex’s pictures file, I found a hidden obvious “alone time” file that was full of saved porn pictures which to me seemed pretty normal until my curiosity pushed me to see what kind of porn he was into. As I flipped through his library of different sexy girls he found on different porn websites a familiar face popped up. There she was in her bikini on a beach smiling back at me, a childhood friend of my boyfriend’s whose relationship to me was never clear or comfortable. I had questioned how my boyfriend felt about “his bestie” for the full three years we had been dating, and thinking back to our first few months of dating she was the start of our first fight after watching the two of them indulge in conversation in the pool ignoring my existence for hours.

When I came across these particular pictures that I had also seen due to being forced into a friendship with her on social media outlets, it felt as if my heart stopped and I was not sure if I wanted to cry or throw his computer against the wall. The man I loved was getting off on Facebook pictures of a friend of his who was uploading hot pictures of herself on social media and to me I felt cheated, hurt and angry. A couple lessons that I learned from this was to always trust my instincts in the future if I think my man has feelings for a close girlfriend, and the second is to not upload sexy pictures of myself on social media because who knows who is saving them for later- YUCK! Needless to say, my boyfriend and I have broken up, and I have joined the many others in the social media selfie recovering cases.

A Letter to my Chief Editor-Happy Birthday Julie

Seems like yesterday when we were hanging off of our beds that faced each other in our small room, giggling at the sight of our hair looking like our beloved troll dolls. What a brat I was to you, and what a fabulous job at being the baby I mastered by manipulating — at your expense– this power: punching you and then telling Granny the opposite of what really happened, winning afternoons out of time out by polishing the halo over my head. However, you made it clear you were the big sister by stepping up in some of the worst situations I hope you ever have to go through and taking the heat so your little sister did not have to. The respect I have for you is not due to the time you set me straight by peeing on “my side of the room” but because you always made it easy for me to trust you and count on you. It wasn’t easy for us, was it? But I am happy for that because look at what we have become and look at who we are. I could not have gotten through life’s dysfunctions without you, and our relationship will forever be a reminder of God’s many blessings to us and to our sisterly relationship. Hiding in the closet together, “running away” together, and creating a better life together is our sister story. I am your forever fan, the little sister who punched a boy on the bus for calling you a dork, and the sister who silenced the crowd at every football game to clap proudly at my “bonehead sister”. I am so proud of you for always working hard and finding your happiness through your beliefs and through the relationships you created in your life. You are such an amazing role model to many, but most importantly, you have always been a very important role model to me, your baby sis. I am so happy to see you as an amazing wife, a new loving mother, and now as an old lady!


*I found this diary entry of mine from a diary I kept in elementary school. Please note that I hash tagged at the top words I found important to what I wrote. Does this give me any type of props for tagging before others??