5 Way’s You Are Being Negative (and might not know it)

5 negative habits


Getting stuck in the past 

The past is that era in time that is now just a memory. I find that it is important to remember that the past is the past and to not worry about it too much. Sometimes I start to analyze things that I have done in the past, or events that have happened in the past and it can really start to get me down. It is helpful to be aware of what you have experienced, and recognize what you have achieved but don’t let the past get you down. Since I am writing a memoir of my life it puts my mind into the past when writing about one event to the next. If it is an unhappy memory, it can suck up my positive energy and make me stuck in that story way to long. Focus more on future story and where you are going. Just use the past as a reference on how far you have already come to reaching your goals and what you have overcome. Do not look back too much; you are not going that way.


I think after reading this you can see that this is kind of a no-brainer. Anytime you find yourself indulging a little too deeply during a meal or at the bar you usually find discomfort later. Yet, we all do it a little too often. When I remind myself how negative these actions are it helps me pick healthier options for my body. I have also observed after my first couple of weeks in my new city, and living my new routines, that when I start a day with NO hangover and a healthy balanced eating, I am a lot more productive/positive throughout the day. Easy right? Duh.

Spending too much time on social media

 Yes, even I, the social media crazed girl, have realized that when I spend too much time clicking around observing and re-sharing it can have negative effects on me. I think my latest upset was poking around on an old friend from high school’s page and than getting upset that we weren’t friends anymore. I have tried to amend our differences a couple of times but failed and we are basically strangers outside our newsfeeds. Clicking around her pictures a little too long could be considered stalking and it is NEGATIVE. Sure, judge me, but I am pretty sure we all do it in some way or another at times.

Not giving yourself enough credit

It is so common to make a to-do list and a list of goals for you but try making a “have-completed list”, and “goal attempting” lists. What I have learned is that this helps keep the first lists positive is by acknowledging the “baby steps” and keeping top of mind what you have accomplished to keep you motivated. I started this habit first in a “Request Column” I kept in the back of my diary when I was young. I would make “requests” that were basically just goals, and I would circle back and to fill what happened regardless if it was the “completion” of the original request. It keeps you in that positive mindset by reminding you to celebrate every win-no matter the size.

Doing to much

 Coming from someone who loved living in the rat race of New York City so much she named her blog after it; I have realized that sometimes having too many things to do is negative. I like to consider myself a “go-getter”, and a “goal –crusher “and prided myself on my ability to “do more”. Then, the stress started to build up in my mind and in my physical body as I juggled the pressure of “doing it all”. I started to struggle with anxiety, had crazy neck pain that was not going away, and started drinking too much. Everything that I was doing was actually having a negative effect on me as I did it all. Restorative yoga, naps, and small baby step goals are usually a lot more positive when you are creating balance on your weekly calendar.


The Failure is Real


“Winning is great, sure, but if you are really going to do something in life, the secret is learning how to lose. Nobody goes undefeated all the time. If you can pick up after a crushing defeat, and go on to win again, you are going to be a champion someday.”
Wilma Rudolph

Failure is that thing that no one likes but something that everyone needs in order to be his or her best self. Writing to others about what I didn’t accomplish is going to be just as important to me as telling them about what I did accomplish. To motivate you, to inspire you, and to get you to trust me I will be breaking down my walls and being as real with you about every one of my defeats. For me, evaluating what I did wrong, as well as analyzing the not-so-positive things that I might be going through has become just as important to me as celebrating my successes. I have become obsessed with really understanding and learning from the failures I have overcome so that the go-getter in me can rejuvenate and quickly bounce back from any UNcontrollable threat or human error.

January was a difficult month for me when it came to accomplishing my work and fitness goals. With Mercury in the retrograde (http://darkstarastrology.com/mercury-retrograde/) you can imagine how difficult it was to manage clients, employees and myself while also trying to end my company’s fiscal year positively. I signed onto a fitness challenge that wasn’t completed due to different obstacles that got in my way. Flu B made me the bed lady for four days, and being sidetracked as I traveled to see my new lover boy in Florida kept my head out of the game. When you are a leader, you have to continue to be the example and lead by example as you continue to be their rock and inspiration. That little voice that always gives motivation while also re-directing with feedback and goals is extremely important to keeping your team on track. As I was crumbling inside with feelings of doubt and fighting back negativity, my team was unintentionally following my lead.

Making super-stretch sales goals along with a “25 Yoga Class Challenge in 31 days” had me crunching numbers and frantically signing up for yoga classes in my already jam-packed schedule. I was so worried about what other people would think about me and about my team if we missed our goal that it was actually demotivating me.I was obsessing over how I would explain myself if we did not make our year and both challenges became surrounded by negativity and doubt. When it came to the challenge, the check-ins on social media to the yoga gym, or the simple question “how many classes do you have left?” from the other yogi’s on the challenge weighed heavy on my mind. I would compare the amount of time they had to complete their challenge to my time and also give excuses as to why I was pressing the snooze button instead of getting into the 6AM hot flow.

The failure was real and missing our fiscal year by a day of business and my challenge by a couple of classes hurt my ego for sure but it also fired me back up. The exciting part about failing on my goals in January is that it opened my eyes to the way I was acting and re-focused my attention on the possibilities of the future. “Fail fast”, someone told me once…and ensure that what you learn from it makes you a better person. Heading into February, I made goals to keep my composure for my team and to continue to be the example in all situations regardless of how I might be feeling. To continue to stay positive (retrograde ended on the 11th of this month) even when downing Dayquil for breakfast, and to only compare my success to a better me.

Happy Valentines Day and Happy February everyone!


My Most Excellent Ally

My Most Excellent Ally

Calling anyone your best friend is extremely ordinary, expected, and not the choice of words I will describe Kelly Susin as ever again. When thinking of a title for my ode to Kelly, I was desperate to find an appropriate definition of our friendship. Kelly and I met eleven years ago, and since then we have been each others travel companions, positive inspiration, and go-to for happiness, even when times are hard. Kelly has been my co-worker, my neighbor, my roommate, and now days (since across the country) my most reliable, comforting phone chat. Many friends come and go because of misunderstandings, or just lost of the want to understand each other and support each other. This is not true for Kelly and I because we have always been each others biggest fan, and I am happy to devote the time to write about Kelly, my most excellent ally.

I first met Kelly in Tallahassee my first year of college where we were both hostesses at a family owned greek restaurant where I continued to work for the next four years. Work is work but work with Kelly was fun. Work became our social scene where we would go to have fun, laugh, and pre game before our nights out. We were able to talk the bartender who worked there to put alcohol in styrofoam cups and we would sip on them behind the hostess stand. Was this right? No, but we were in college!

When I think of Kelly I think of bright colors and daisy’s (not because of the coffee mug “I borrowed” and refuse to give back that is just this) but because of the similar warm, happy, and fun feelings I get when I think about her. Kelly and I can go into any city, to any bar ,and make friends with everyone and anyone. We bring out the best in each other and when we introduce ourselves as Kadie and Kelly we are commonly not taken seriously because of our similar bebop attitude and blonde hair (when I have blonde hair). If it’s a drive down A1A listening to music with the windows down just to escape, or a Winn Dixie run to fill Kelly’s key lime pie ice cream fix, Kelly is a good time.

I did not grow up traveling when I was younger so my love for adventure began when I was older. Kelly was apart of the trips that defined my love for travel and need to get away. Our trips started with two-hour road trips from Tallahassee to Jacksonville to escape work and class and have evolved to cross-country car rides, and plans to globe trot around the world. Like most Americans, I have a special place in my heart for New York City and I had been lucky enough to visit the big apple twice with just Kelly before the city became home. A photo of our Fall trip to the city in 2009 is hung in my home today and signify’s a lazy afternoon sitting on a 29th floor balcony in Times Square talking about “the good life”. Growing up, my middle sister and I would visit my family during the summer and I have tried my best to keep up that tradition. One summer, Kelly took on the sister role and joined me to “the longest pencil in the world” and I was able to share with her my love for the beauty of the state and surround her with the fun of my family. My dearest memory of this trip was a cooler summer night in my sister and brother in laws garden where we ate great food, sipped on great wine, and were entertained by live guitar music with friends and family. A drive up the Pacific Coast highway from San Diego to San Fran, and attending a football game in Boston where waves of tropical storm bands hit during an upset between Boston College and Florida State were daring, ordinary, and memorable trips I shared with my favorite companion.

Like most relationships our bond wasnt strictly built on girl talk and giggles but tested because of hardships we had to overcome together. The first time I had my heart-broken and could not imagine life going on, or getting out of bed, Kelly was there by my side. We were there for each other through failed relationships, and failed friendships, and came out stronger together. I am not fond of the day that Momma Susin passed but I was proud to be a friend who stood by her side as she exemplified her strong, positive character during this hardship. Kelly is the greatest memory of Momma Susin and like her mother she always encourages me to be me.

I want to celebrate Kelly. She is not my best friend but my most excellent ally and I am fortunate to that.