My Pride

IMG_1034-In Honor of the victims in Orlando

My pride lives in my heart for my best friends who I am so lucky to have in my life. The friends that this horrid event have me missing more this week than this little post could ever convey. The past couple of days I had moments where I actually felt guilty feeling as bad as I did. Guilty since I didn’t have any direct relations with the victims of the Orlando massacre. The truth is that I very much do. My happy place, and the most fun friends in the world are in the gay community. I can’t stop thinking about how this could of been us. These friends of mine are people who have become family, travel partners, roomates/neighbors, and a reason I have fulfilled so many of my wildest dreams. My heart hurts for the attack on the essence of who they are. When I lived in NYC, I had a girlfriend actually tell me that the reason I was single at the time, “was because I only hung out with the gays”. The happiest place on the planet for me, and some of the best memories of my life have been in their presence. I always feel the safest out running the streets in their community and have danced, laughed, and partied in pure bliss until the sun came up (numerous times). This massacre has really pissed me off, and it has brought me to a point for the first time where I am ready to fight for what I believe. Try to find a way to make a difference. I will be creating a movement with my new business, The Kadie Way LLC, where we make a stand against hate. Details to come! Choose, LOVE; not HATE

Kadie

Check out my photo video I made @: https://flipagram.com/f/qtpSub6tAt

 

5 Way’s You Are Being Negative (and might not know it)

5 negative habits

 

Getting stuck in the past 

The past is that era in time that is now just a memory. I find that it is important to remember that the past is the past and to not worry about it too much. Sometimes I start to analyze things that I have done in the past, or events that have happened in the past and it can really start to get me down. It is helpful to be aware of what you have experienced, and recognize what you have achieved but don’t let the past get you down. Since I am writing a memoir of my life it puts my mind into the past when writing about one event to the next. If it is an unhappy memory, it can suck up my positive energy and make me stuck in that story way to long. Focus more on future story and where you are going. Just use the past as a reference on how far you have already come to reaching your goals and what you have overcome. Do not look back too much; you are not going that way.

Over-Eating/Over-Drinking

I think after reading this you can see that this is kind of a no-brainer. Anytime you find yourself indulging a little too deeply during a meal or at the bar you usually find discomfort later. Yet, we all do it a little too often. When I remind myself how negative these actions are it helps me pick healthier options for my body. I have also observed after my first couple of weeks in my new city, and living my new routines, that when I start a day with NO hangover and a healthy balanced eating, I am a lot more productive/positive throughout the day. Easy right? Duh.

Spending too much time on social media

 Yes, even I, the social media crazed girl, have realized that when I spend too much time clicking around observing and re-sharing it can have negative effects on me. I think my latest upset was poking around on an old friend from high school’s page and than getting upset that we weren’t friends anymore. I have tried to amend our differences a couple of times but failed and we are basically strangers outside our newsfeeds. Clicking around her pictures a little too long could be considered stalking and it is NEGATIVE. Sure, judge me, but I am pretty sure we all do it in some way or another at times.

Not giving yourself enough credit

It is so common to make a to-do list and a list of goals for you but try making a “have-completed list”, and “goal attempting” lists. What I have learned is that this helps keep the first lists positive is by acknowledging the “baby steps” and keeping top of mind what you have accomplished to keep you motivated. I started this habit first in a “Request Column” I kept in the back of my diary when I was young. I would make “requests” that were basically just goals, and I would circle back and to fill what happened regardless if it was the “completion” of the original request. It keeps you in that positive mindset by reminding you to celebrate every win-no matter the size.

Doing to much

 Coming from someone who loved living in the rat race of New York City so much she named her blog after it; I have realized that sometimes having too many things to do is negative. I like to consider myself a “go-getter”, and a “goal –crusher “and prided myself on my ability to “do more”. Then, the stress started to build up in my mind and in my physical body as I juggled the pressure of “doing it all”. I started to struggle with anxiety, had crazy neck pain that was not going away, and started drinking too much. Everything that I was doing was actually having a negative effect on me as I did it all. Restorative yoga, naps, and small baby step goals are usually a lot more positive when you are creating balance on your weekly calendar.

Friday at Hu Kitchen

Hu Kitchen

Friday at Hu Kitchen

When I give myself the time to mentally assess the fact that I am no longer a resident of New York City (after almost three years of living the dream) it makes me a little sad. I run through the usual thoughts in my head:

-“I haven’t even accomplished everything I wanted to accomplish!”
-“There are so many things I’ve never even got to check of my bucket list!”
-“I didn’t even get nearly enough time with my friends and family that I moved here to be closer too!”
-“Damnit, does this mean I have to change my domain name to my blog dreamsmadenyc.com?”

These same common thoughts crossed my head this morning after waking up with regret of how late in the morning it was when I was finally getting out of bed from my girlfriends lower east side apartment. I crashed at her place after wine night since I moved out of my Upper East Side apartment at the end of September. For the rest of October and November I will be commuting into my old neighborhood where I still run a store but unfortunately I no longer have my own place in the city. Friends have let me stay at their apartments to make it easy on me the nights I work late, or days where there are only eight hours between my shifts. The decision to commute into the city from my fiancé’s hometown in New Jersey for my last two months working in the city was made to save money as we prepare to alter our way of living. I will be in Costa Rica for most of the month of December for my 200-hour, yoga teacher training and then we will be moving to California to start our life together. A year round warm weather community is where we need to live so that my best friend, my fiancé, will be able to pursue his career as a professional golfer year round. At the beginning of 2016, we will spend our one-year anniversary driving our belongings’ and dog cross-country to the west side. So, as annoying as the commute and transit has been, I know it will all be worth it when I remember the goals we are crushing and accomplishing by this current plan.

Strolling down St. Marks Place with a latte in hand that I picked up from a coffee shop lined with several professional hipsters typing on their mac pros, I over heard a father-son tourist duo walking ahead of me. Map in hand, and in a very as a matter of fact tone, I hear the father recap the outline of plans he had for them as see the city that day. “We will start at this breakfast place in Union Square, then we will head to, short pause as he looks down at his map, Midtown! Then, we will hit up Time Square, Rockefeller, and after that we will go to the record store on Bleeker. I mean we don’t have to be at the show until 8 tonight!” Hearing this made me smile while it brought me to memories of similar visits before I was a resident with my mother and sister. Like them, we also had jammed packed days, and plans to see it all in 24 hours. Continuing on behind them, I also headed to one of my favorite NYC eateries in Union Square. I was inspired to make my own plan for the day so that I could at least cross off a few things that I felt like I needed to get done on my writing goals. I choose to sit in a favorite corner of mine at Hu Kitchen, which is a high quality restaurant and market that holds a vision to provide a destination where you can eat and live deliciously. I first heard of Hu Kitchen about two years ago when I was invited to meet, Arielle Haspel of Be Well with Arielle, to discuss new ideas of a career path in a time where I felt very stuck. I did similar soul-searching after she took the time to meet with me regarding my passions and idea’s I had about fashion, yoga, and writing. For an hour, I spoke about my hobbies and my life experience and it helped me realign my direction of my original plans for myself when I first moved to New York City.

I wrote down what goals I had so I could review what I had accomplished in the past three years in New York. I felt the need to realign them and see where I stood for my last month with easy access to the city I love. I wanted to find love (check), I wanted to write more (check), I wanted to be challenged (double-check), and I wanted to become a yogi (check). As my time in my “dream city” runs out I was convinced I also had to change my domain name to the blog that will continue to house my life stories and plans. I thought to myself, “I can’t live in California and host a blog with New York City in it, can I?” As I was handed my fresh steamed bowl of quinoa topped with vegetarian chili and fresh basil, I was asked if I was vegan. Since being vegan is my next “Me goal” for this last month before I go into extensive training, I smiled up at him and said, “I’m trying to be.” I knew I had my answer to what my new domain name should be after convincing myself I needed to change. I was Born in PA, raised by my great- grandmother in Southern Florida, moved to New York City to find my dreams, and followed the love of my life to California. It makes no sense to change the name when this blog has gotten me through all of that. As I was gathering my things getting ready to leave Hu Kitchen, I looked up and ironically spotted Arielle chatting with a women at the juice bar taking notes as she had at ours, and ensured I stopped over and filled her in on my newest “Hu inspired” plans. Therefore, you can all continue to follow me here: Dreamsmadenewyorkcity.com

TGIF EVERYONE!

Kadie

Life is Good

“Everything is going to be alright” -Bob Marley

The other night when talking to my fiancé after a Forrest Yoga class, I shared a similarity that I have determined I have in common with some of my favorite yogi’s who have also written a book. I took the class because I had just finished Fierce Medicine by Ana T. Forrest, the creator of Forrest Yoga, and like her I seem to have found yoga while seeking a way to peace. A way to deal with all bottled up fears, depression, and pain that we are ashamed of, or still holding on to. A yoga instructor of one of my favorite types of classes, Hot Power Yoga level 2/3, taught in a 100-105 degree heated room, detoxifying sweat while flowing through an athletic and dynamic sequence of postures, motivated us to keep going by speaking inspirational thoughts. She said, “Some of the toughest, most strong people she has every met have been through some shit. They fall, they fail, but what they always do is they get back up and they try again. They just keep going.”

I am not saying that unless you have had extreme drama you can not get addicted to yoga because I now understand that everyone is struggling with their own issues that are relevant to them. In this same conversation with Geoffrey, my fiancé, he said, “You know honey, I ran away once because I didn’t always have it all so good either. Knowing that he grew up with loving parents, a safe roof over his head, and although not considered rich, he wasn’t going to school without lunch money. I poured myself a glass of wine, smiled up at him, and said, “I would love to hear all about it baby”. He described to me a day in the dead of winter in Glen Ridge, NJ where he came downstairs of one of the many mansions that make up his small neighborhood, in a pair of khaki’s he had worn a couple day’s in a row. Mom wasn’t having that, and after a firm discussion told him that there was no way he was wearing those pants again. He was directed to head up stairs to change immediately as she gathered her things and left for work. Geoffrey felt that this was so unfair that he was going to run away. Instead of going to school he headed to his local park (not even a half mile away) and sat at a bench and pouted. His experience as a runaway was that he was freezing in the snow, and his stomach was starting to growl. So he decided to head back home, sneak inside to grab a snack, and then hide out in the garage for the rest of the afternoon. He was still not ready to surrender but, he started to feel sick from his pig out on Keebler EL fudge cookies, and he was becoming so cold from having no ventilation in his new “runaway” spot. All of this made him decide that changing his shorts wasn’t so bad after all. Geoffrey currently practices yoga for his muscles in between training as a professional golfer and working out at the gym. I practice yoga for the state of mind that keeps me cool when things don’t go my way. I am reminded to breath and think to myself, “this life isn’t so bad after all.”

Sweet Love

“There is nothing to writing all you have to do is sit down and bleed”, Ernest Hemingway

Jan 2015

My writer’s block has been a constant cloudy vision in my way the last few months and there has been a lot of travel and socializing to add to all of the distractions I have as a writer. I am constantly searching, and planning for something I am inspired to write about on my blog to share with others. I did write a little something to share about my feelings and my relationship history with my mother on Mother’s Day but I ended up filing it away with all of the other documents sitting in my mac air book. I had fear that although the words were finally flowing I would end up hurting someone as I was bleeding thoughts from my heart. I was scared of judgments, I was fearful of being revealed, but worst of all I feel like it wasn’t coming from a completely good place. All of this noise around what I wrote stopped me from pushing publish on my blog page. I consider my blog a safe place, a haven dedicated to my story, and my life’s journey that I am trying to tell. This week when trying to decide what the perfect present would be for the perfect boyfriend it also dawned on me that I needed to be writing about something I was confident about sharing. It is easy for me to share my thoughts about one of the most important people in my life, my sweet love Geoffrey. Forget all the reason’s I can’t share or shouldn’t share I just needed writing inspiration that I was completely confident in other’s reading. After being mindful of what was getting in my way I knew my next writing project would be successful because it is coming from a loving, positive, and happy place.

First I asked myself what about my journey to finding love right now would resonate with others? Why would anyone even give a shit what I have been through and what I have overcome? Who is my audience? What am I trying to accomplish with them reading what I share? It would resonate with them because I believe that everyone loves love. If they do not, I think it is because they need more of it. I have chosen to write about meeting Geoffrey this summer and how he has changed my life because for years I have been searching for love. Since I was a little girl I always craved more of it and never felt confident that I was worthy of it fully. I struggled with being comfortable in my own skin and let my unique quirks and weaknesses overcome whom I was. I was building strong, tall walls around my heart and staying in relationships that were obviously not healthy. Geoffrey has made me a believer in love again and has also sparked the inspiration I needed to continue to follow my own dreams. I was never a person someone took relationship advice from but I have always been taking mental notes after every failed relationship what I dreamed true love would feel like to me. If I didn’t find it necessary to listen to that little voice in my head (that little roommate we all have but don’t always listen to) I would not of found the best love of my life. Since I started dating Geoffrey I have found that one of his favorite things in the world are my blog posts. He has read every damn one. He recites them to me randomly in conversation or quotes me out of the blue. It’s one of the most touching things anyone has ever done for me and it is the exact inspiration I need to motivate my block. For Geoffrey’s birthday I am making a promise to write about him and to write about us. If it is one person who resonates to our story or ten, I truly hope that I inspire them to never settle. I wish that by sharing with you a little about what love means to me because of Geoffrey it would inspire you to find a sweet love of your own.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!

Follow our story on twitter! #SweetLoveSpell @GMRobbins @Kchron

My Heaven Is You

Geoffrey

“I met you in my dreams, your touch was so soft and your body was so warm. You held me so close that I knew no one could ever come between us. When I woke and you weren’t there I still found comfort that you were out there. I could not wait to meet you because I knew that I loved you.” – Kadie Chronister

From the moment I met you, I wanted to keep you, take care of you, kiss you. You were nervous but bursting with sexy confidence. You immediately became the sweetest thing I have ever set eyes on. I will never forget that second look I took at you, “damn he is cute”, I said to myself as you struggled to pull it together. With every word I scooted a little closer to you. My hand brushed down your arm as we talked about nothing that I can remember and united us as it fell seamlessly into yours. Butterflies took over my heart when you told me how I was making you feel and how infectious my smile was to you. I watched you look into my eyes and with every word I spoke you sank deeper and deeper into my soul. I did not know love felt like this until we had our first kiss. It took me twenty-nine years to meet you but just three hours to know that I could not live without you. When you left me that night I felt a familiar heavy void in my heart yet, this time it was still so full of love. As I struggle everyday with the pain of missing you I am at ease as I mediate in thoughts of our future. My heaven is you, and I thank my lucky stars everyday for the path that led me to you.

You

I met you in my dreams last night. Your touch was so soft and your body was so warm. You held me so close that I knew no one could ever come between us. When I woke and you weren’t there I still found comfort that you are out there. Expect better, and I will do better. Decide what I want and it will be easier to find it. Decide why I am chasing what I am chasing and it will align to you. Love is actually all around me but, it is you that I cannot wait to have. I can’t wait to meet you. I love you.