Believe in YOU

Believe in YOU

It doesn’t matter if someone else believes in you or not. It doesn’t matter if someone doesn’t like you, or if you don’t like someone else. It only matter’s that you believe in yourself. Believe that when you have negative emotions, or negative reactions to someone else’s negative, that there is a lesson to learn in that situation. Try to look inside and mirror that back to what the universe is trying to tell you. Why is it you feel this way? Why do you care what other’s think? Is this showing you something about yourself? Love yourself enough to honor this discovery and to explore the answers to your emotions. The only way you will grow is if you look inside. Not inside your neighbor’s walls but inside your own head. People will want to see you fail. Why would you care? How does that benefit you in the slightest to focus on that? Keep going. Keep failing. But get back up for yourself and learn from those mistakes. Learn how to grow and how to accept your own truth.

Believe in YOU

 

 

Suhka Vs Duhka

Suhka vs Duhka

The Risky Balance of Dukha and Sukha

“Pain is your friend. It is your ally. It lets you know when you are seriously hurt. It keeps you awake. It keeps you angry. It reminds you to finish what you started, and get the hell home. But you know what the best part about pain is? It lets you know your not dead yet!”-Command Master Chief, GI Jane

There are times of grief, discomfort, and pain in life, and there are times of joy, tranquility, and ease. In yogi terms, Dukha stands for the pain and the suffering you experience and Sukha stands for the release of it. You find both of these in life situations, in your body’s pathways, and in your yoga practice. You need both of them to experience the other and in order to move through duhka you will need fire, or tapas. Practicing tapas is that ability to get back into the fire and continue to strive after your goals even when the going gets tough. I have learned, (finally) that no matter how much it might look like someone in your life has zero dukha, they do. Everyone is hurting in one-way or another but not everyone is actively practicing sukha to minimize his or her troubles. Not only that but people in your life can get mad at you when they see you balancing the risky business of dukha and sukha because it isn’t an easy thing to do. Not everyone has the guts to do so and jealousy can fire them to cause you more pain, or duhka. So, just do you and stop comparing yourself to other’s! I am so over worrying about where other people are at in their life because everyone is different!

Have you ever-experienced pain but the outcome was relief?

Has anyone close to you ever treated you poorly when you felt really great about an accomplishment?

 

Curiosity GOT me to the MAT

“Do the one thing you think you cannot do. Fail at it. Try again. Do better the second time. The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire. This is your moment. Own it.”

-Oprah Winfrey-I fucking Did It

 

Curiosity

What you might not know about me is that I was really scared of yoga when I was first introduced to it. Although, (and you might of already read this in one of my other blog posts) I have recognized that I have been a yogi since I was a little girl. The mindset to take care of myself, lighting the fire inside of me to my own spiritual path, and the ability to quite my emotions finding different ways to meditate. The active part of my yoga practice wasn’t something I really connected with until my late twenties when curiosity brought me to my first regular yoga classes. That same curiosity that made me the first one to learn to read in my school class, the dedicated curiosity that got me to put myself through college, and that risky curiosity that brought me from New York City to San Francisco. I was very much the girl who picked a 7mile run, a soccer game, or even pick to embarrass myself over a beginner’s hip hop class before picking a “boring ass yoga class.” New York city’s rat race finally brought my soul to the mat because I was stressed and I was hurting. I couldn’t find happiness or peace anywhere in that city until I started connecting with myself on my yoga mat.

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Respond vs React

Have you ever experienced a bully? Have you ever been a bully? I think my earliest moments of bullying was sibling related. One of my favorite sister memories was a time when my big sis Julie and I were retaliating against each other – and she won. We were arguing about who knows what in our small shared room when the first step to war was put into place. The dividing line was when we marked clearly whose side was who’s in hopes the other would stay in their designated area. We used yarn we had in our crochet bags and gave some leeway to my path since my side of the closet opened onto her side. Oh and yes, we had crochet bags… we were raised by our great grandmother remember! I always held onto the baby roll pretty well,  and could be a little bratty as I antagonized my big sister. After we divided the room I started sneaking over to her side just to get a rise out of her. I would jump on and off her bed and then sprint quickly back over to my side. These were simple and easy ways to bully her,  and my intention was obviously to piss her off. Well, I definitely did piss her off- figuratively and literally.  She marched over pass my line, stood right in front of my dresser, pulled down her pants, and peed right there…on MY SIDE! I watched in complete shock as it seeped into the white carpet staining my territory. I ran away screaming like the little baby I was. I thought of this story when I was thinking about the change in my mindset this year. The mindset to choose love in my responses instead of wild reactions like Julie did in my story. Ofcourse, I could of done things differently too but her reaction is a bit more humorous to read. You have to laugh at yourself and not take yourself so seriously. The end idea here is to learn from your experiences. To learn to laugh and just positively move on differently. What reaction of your past makes you laugh? What loving responses have you received from someone when you were the one with the wild reaction?  

Friday at Hu Kitchen

Hu Kitchen

Friday at Hu Kitchen

When I give myself the time to mentally assess the fact that I am no longer a resident of New York City (after almost three years of living the dream) it makes me a little sad. I run through the usual thoughts in my head:

-“I haven’t even accomplished everything I wanted to accomplish!”
-“There are so many things I’ve never even got to check of my bucket list!”
-“I didn’t even get nearly enough time with my friends and family that I moved here to be closer too!”
-“Damnit, does this mean I have to change my domain name to my blog dreamsmadenyc.com?”

These same common thoughts crossed my head this morning after waking up with regret of how late in the morning it was when I was finally getting out of bed from my girlfriends lower east side apartment. I crashed at her place after wine night since I moved out of my Upper East Side apartment at the end of September. For the rest of October and November I will be commuting into my old neighborhood where I still run a store but unfortunately I no longer have my own place in the city. Friends have let me stay at their apartments to make it easy on me the nights I work late, or days where there are only eight hours between my shifts. The decision to commute into the city from my fiancé’s hometown in New Jersey for my last two months working in the city was made to save money as we prepare to alter our way of living. I will be in Costa Rica for most of the month of December for my 200-hour, yoga teacher training and then we will be moving to California to start our life together. A year round warm weather community is where we need to live so that my best friend, my fiancé, will be able to pursue his career as a professional golfer year round. At the beginning of 2016, we will spend our one-year anniversary driving our belongings’ and dog cross-country to the west side. So, as annoying as the commute and transit has been, I know it will all be worth it when I remember the goals we are crushing and accomplishing by this current plan.

Strolling down St. Marks Place with a latte in hand that I picked up from a coffee shop lined with several professional hipsters typing on their mac pros, I over heard a father-son tourist duo walking ahead of me. Map in hand, and in a very as a matter of fact tone, I hear the father recap the outline of plans he had for them as see the city that day. “We will start at this breakfast place in Union Square, then we will head to, short pause as he looks down at his map, Midtown! Then, we will hit up Time Square, Rockefeller, and after that we will go to the record store on Bleeker. I mean we don’t have to be at the show until 8 tonight!” Hearing this made me smile while it brought me to memories of similar visits before I was a resident with my mother and sister. Like them, we also had jammed packed days, and plans to see it all in 24 hours. Continuing on behind them, I also headed to one of my favorite NYC eateries in Union Square. I was inspired to make my own plan for the day so that I could at least cross off a few things that I felt like I needed to get done on my writing goals. I choose to sit in a favorite corner of mine at Hu Kitchen, which is a high quality restaurant and market that holds a vision to provide a destination where you can eat and live deliciously. I first heard of Hu Kitchen about two years ago when I was invited to meet, Arielle Haspel of Be Well with Arielle, to discuss new ideas of a career path in a time where I felt very stuck. I did similar soul-searching after she took the time to meet with me regarding my passions and idea’s I had about fashion, yoga, and writing. For an hour, I spoke about my hobbies and my life experience and it helped me realign my direction of my original plans for myself when I first moved to New York City.

I wrote down what goals I had so I could review what I had accomplished in the past three years in New York. I felt the need to realign them and see where I stood for my last month with easy access to the city I love. I wanted to find love (check), I wanted to write more (check), I wanted to be challenged (double-check), and I wanted to become a yogi (check). As my time in my “dream city” runs out I was convinced I also had to change my domain name to the blog that will continue to house my life stories and plans. I thought to myself, “I can’t live in California and host a blog with New York City in it, can I?” As I was handed my fresh steamed bowl of quinoa topped with vegetarian chili and fresh basil, I was asked if I was vegan. Since being vegan is my next “Me goal” for this last month before I go into extensive training, I smiled up at him and said, “I’m trying to be.” I knew I had my answer to what my new domain name should be after convincing myself I needed to change. I was Born in PA, raised by my great- grandmother in Southern Florida, moved to New York City to find my dreams, and followed the love of my life to California. It makes no sense to change the name when this blog has gotten me through all of that. As I was gathering my things getting ready to leave Hu Kitchen, I looked up and ironically spotted Arielle chatting with a women at the juice bar taking notes as she had at ours, and ensured I stopped over and filled her in on my newest “Hu inspired” plans. Therefore, you can all continue to follow me here: Dreamsmadenewyorkcity.com

TGIF EVERYONE!

Kadie

Sweet Love

“There is nothing to writing all you have to do is sit down and bleed”, Ernest Hemingway

Jan 2015

My writer’s block has been a constant cloudy vision in my way the last few months and there has been a lot of travel and socializing to add to all of the distractions I have as a writer. I am constantly searching, and planning for something I am inspired to write about on my blog to share with others. I did write a little something to share about my feelings and my relationship history with my mother on Mother’s Day but I ended up filing it away with all of the other documents sitting in my mac air book. I had fear that although the words were finally flowing I would end up hurting someone as I was bleeding thoughts from my heart. I was scared of judgments, I was fearful of being revealed, but worst of all I feel like it wasn’t coming from a completely good place. All of this noise around what I wrote stopped me from pushing publish on my blog page. I consider my blog a safe place, a haven dedicated to my story, and my life’s journey that I am trying to tell. This week when trying to decide what the perfect present would be for the perfect boyfriend it also dawned on me that I needed to be writing about something I was confident about sharing. It is easy for me to share my thoughts about one of the most important people in my life, my sweet love Geoffrey. Forget all the reason’s I can’t share or shouldn’t share I just needed writing inspiration that I was completely confident in other’s reading. After being mindful of what was getting in my way I knew my next writing project would be successful because it is coming from a loving, positive, and happy place.

First I asked myself what about my journey to finding love right now would resonate with others? Why would anyone even give a shit what I have been through and what I have overcome? Who is my audience? What am I trying to accomplish with them reading what I share? It would resonate with them because I believe that everyone loves love. If they do not, I think it is because they need more of it. I have chosen to write about meeting Geoffrey this summer and how he has changed my life because for years I have been searching for love. Since I was a little girl I always craved more of it and never felt confident that I was worthy of it fully. I struggled with being comfortable in my own skin and let my unique quirks and weaknesses overcome whom I was. I was building strong, tall walls around my heart and staying in relationships that were obviously not healthy. Geoffrey has made me a believer in love again and has also sparked the inspiration I needed to continue to follow my own dreams. I was never a person someone took relationship advice from but I have always been taking mental notes after every failed relationship what I dreamed true love would feel like to me. If I didn’t find it necessary to listen to that little voice in my head (that little roommate we all have but don’t always listen to) I would not of found the best love of my life. Since I started dating Geoffrey I have found that one of his favorite things in the world are my blog posts. He has read every damn one. He recites them to me randomly in conversation or quotes me out of the blue. It’s one of the most touching things anyone has ever done for me and it is the exact inspiration I need to motivate my block. For Geoffrey’s birthday I am making a promise to write about him and to write about us. If it is one person who resonates to our story or ten, I truly hope that I inspire them to never settle. I wish that by sharing with you a little about what love means to me because of Geoffrey it would inspire you to find a sweet love of your own.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!

Follow our story on twitter! #SweetLoveSpell @GMRobbins @Kchron

The Failure is Real

Failure

“Winning is great, sure, but if you are really going to do something in life, the secret is learning how to lose. Nobody goes undefeated all the time. If you can pick up after a crushing defeat, and go on to win again, you are going to be a champion someday.”
Wilma Rudolph

Failure is that thing that no one likes but something that everyone needs in order to be his or her best self. Writing to others about what I didn’t accomplish is going to be just as important to me as telling them about what I did accomplish. To motivate you, to inspire you, and to get you to trust me I will be breaking down my walls and being as real with you about every one of my defeats. For me, evaluating what I did wrong, as well as analyzing the not-so-positive things that I might be going through has become just as important to me as celebrating my successes. I have become obsessed with really understanding and learning from the failures I have overcome so that the go-getter in me can rejuvenate and quickly bounce back from any UNcontrollable threat or human error.

January was a difficult month for me when it came to accomplishing my work and fitness goals. With Mercury in the retrograde (http://darkstarastrology.com/mercury-retrograde/) you can imagine how difficult it was to manage clients, employees and myself while also trying to end my company’s fiscal year positively. I signed onto a fitness challenge that wasn’t completed due to different obstacles that got in my way. Flu B made me the bed lady for four days, and being sidetracked as I traveled to see my new lover boy in Florida kept my head out of the game. When you are a leader, you have to continue to be the example and lead by example as you continue to be their rock and inspiration. That little voice that always gives motivation while also re-directing with feedback and goals is extremely important to keeping your team on track. As I was crumbling inside with feelings of doubt and fighting back negativity, my team was unintentionally following my lead.

Making super-stretch sales goals along with a “25 Yoga Class Challenge in 31 days” had me crunching numbers and frantically signing up for yoga classes in my already jam-packed schedule. I was so worried about what other people would think about me and about my team if we missed our goal that it was actually demotivating me.I was obsessing over how I would explain myself if we did not make our year and both challenges became surrounded by negativity and doubt. When it came to the challenge, the check-ins on social media to the yoga gym, or the simple question “how many classes do you have left?” from the other yogi’s on the challenge weighed heavy on my mind. I would compare the amount of time they had to complete their challenge to my time and also give excuses as to why I was pressing the snooze button instead of getting into the 6AM hot flow.

The failure was real and missing our fiscal year by a day of business and my challenge by a couple of classes hurt my ego for sure but it also fired me back up. The exciting part about failing on my goals in January is that it opened my eyes to the way I was acting and re-focused my attention on the possibilities of the future. “Fail fast”, someone told me once…and ensure that what you learn from it makes you a better person. Heading into February, I made goals to keep my composure for my team and to continue to be the example in all situations regardless of how I might be feeling. To continue to stay positive (retrograde ended on the 11th of this month) even when downing Dayquil for breakfast, and to only compare my success to a better me.

Happy Valentines Day and Happy February everyone!

#FebruarySquatChallenge