5 Years In Heaven

5 years in Heaven

This picture was taken not to long after my great grandmother took on guardianship of my middle sister, Julie and I. To me, this picture captures all the moment’s I loved being the baby. Granny was a very passionate person. Even her anger was passionate. Although she was in her late 70’s when I started to really piss her off, she always stood her ground. Everyone was scared of Granny, my friends, my neighbors, and although many parents were strict, Granny always took the cake. Ginny and Rick, my neighbors growing up, told me that one of their favorite granny story’s was when they saw her chasing after me around the house screaming something while I ran so fast the other direction. This is the family that I later moved in with when Granny kicked me out of her house after being caught at school for underage drinking. Her intensity was really real, especially her intense moment’s of love. I like this picture of us because it captures how I would cherish every moment of being the baby. I think I continued to sit on her lap through high school, because I just loved the moment’s she wanted to cuddle like pictured here. Five years’ ago she passed, and I continue to struggle with the regret of not thanking her enough for what she did for us. When she started to become older I was away at college and my priority at that time wasn’t her. This is painful for me to say out loud because although I understand I couldn’t do a lot at that time, I wish things could of ended a little differently. She gave up so many of her “golden years”, her retirement years to care for us. A few years before she passed, when I was a freshman at college living about four hours away from her, we stayed in contact mostly through letters in the mail. Looking back and recognizing that we both shared the love for writing, it warms my heart on how fitting that was. Thinking of her today, and if she were alive today, I would write her a letter. And this is what I would say:

Dear Granny,

I wanted you to know that I am still writing! When I cant seem to think of anything to write about my inspiration most often comes from you. I find you in my head, in my soul, and in my heart. Thinking about the memory of you gives me so much inspiration, and I am reminded of stories’ to write about! Remember all those afternoons spent at the library? Remember all those afternoons I spent writing my book series about Blaze, Misty, and our gold fish? I wish I could go over my writing’s with you today. I think you would enjoy it. My fiancé and I moved to California in January and there is an orange tree in our back yard. Every time I peel open a fresh orange I think of you. Remember how many warm Florida day’s I sat on your lap outside asking you to, “feed me like a birdie”, as you dropped orange slices in your mouth? I hope you are doing well, and I hope you are eating lots of chocolate heath bar crunch as you celebrate five years in heaven!

I miss you!

 

 

 

 

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A Letter to my Chief Editor-Happy Birthday Julie

Seems like yesterday when we were hanging off of our beds that faced each other in our small room, giggling at the sight of our hair looking like our beloved troll dolls. What a brat I was to you, and what a fabulous job at being the baby I mastered by manipulating — at your expense– this power: punching you and then telling Granny the opposite of what really happened, winning afternoons out of time out by polishing the halo over my head. However, you made it clear you were the big sister by stepping up in some of the worst situations I hope you ever have to go through and taking the heat so your little sister did not have to. The respect I have for you is not due to the time you set me straight by peeing on “my side of the room” but because you always made it easy for me to trust you and count on you. It wasn’t easy for us, was it? But I am happy for that because look at what we have become and look at who we are. I could not have gotten through life’s dysfunctions without you, and our relationship will forever be a reminder of God’s many blessings to us and to our sisterly relationship. Hiding in the closet together, “running away” together, and creating a better life together is our sister story. I am your forever fan, the little sister who punched a boy on the bus for calling you a dork, and the sister who silenced the crowd at every football game to clap proudly at my “bonehead sister”. I am so proud of you for always working hard and finding your happiness through your beliefs and through the relationships you created in your life. You are such an amazing role model to many, but most importantly, you have always been a very important role model to me, your baby sis. I am so happy to see you as an amazing wife, a new loving mother, and now as an old lady!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SISSY!!!!

*I found this diary entry of mine from a diary I kept in elementary school. Please note that I hash tagged at the top words I found important to what I wrote. Does this give me any type of props for tagging before others??

Sisters

K-K-K Kadie

I thought my grandmother was so clever that she actually made up the lyrics to the song, K-K-K Katy. She use to sing this to me all the time growing up, and my favorite part was, “You’re the only ga,ga,gal that I adore”. While my Uncle was visiting he would also join in on the singing, and this might have started my earliest signs of blushing. I had a love/hate relationship with being the center of attention and clearly this song was all about me. The song originated in the World War 1-era and was written by Geoffrey O’Hara in 1917. The song tells a story of a young solider who stuttered when he tried to speak to girls. Jimmy, finally managed to talk to Katy, the “maid with hair of gold”. I don’t know what made me think of this song, but I can remember so vividly Granny’s voice as I came around the K-k-k-itchen door!

Oh, Ka, Ka, Katie
Come kiss me Katie

Your the only ga, ga, gal that I adore

And when the mo moon shines

Over the Co Cow Shed

I’ll be waiting at the Ka Ka Kitchen Door

Oh, Ka, Ka, Katie

Come kiss me Katie

Your the only ga, ga, gal that I adore

And when the mo moon shines

Over the Co Cow Shed

I’ll be waiting at the Ka Ka Kitchen Door

I have this record and I believe this below is the lyrics

K-K-K-Katy,
beautiful Katy,
You’re the only g-g-g-girl that I adore
When the m-m-m-moon shines,
Over the cow shed,
I’ll be waiting at the k-k-k-kitchen door.

Jimmy was a soldier brave and bold,
Katy was a maid with hair of gold
Like an act of fate, Kate was standing at the gate
Watching all the boys on dress parade

Jimmy with the girls was just a gawk
Stuttered ev’ry time he tried to talk
Still that night at eight
He was there at Katy’s gate
Stuttering to her this love sick cry

K-K-K-Katy,
beautiful Katy,
You’re the only g-g-g-girl that I adore
When the m-m-m-moon shines,
Over the cow shed,
I’ll be waiting at the k-k-k-kitchen door.

K-K-K-Katy,
beautiful Katy,
You’re the only g-g-g-girl that I adore
When the m-m-m-moon shines,
Over the cow shed,
I’ll be waiting at the k-k-k-kitchen door.

Sometimes

Sometimes you make mistakes that you can fix, and sometimes you make mistakes that you have to live with. I have been trying to decide how my most recent mistake can be un done. How am I going to make it right ? It’s hardest to understand what exactly I’ve done wrong in the first place. Sometimes you know what you should do but find excuses not to do them.  But why? Sometimes I think it’s a little bit of fear, and sometimes I think it’s because we are worried about what others would think. When trying to make ideas happen how will you know if you’re doing the right thing?  Sometimes I think, you just gotta find out.